Today marks a very meaningful milestone for me. I have officially carried this baby longer than my previous one. I am not sure how I feel about that. I am happy and relieved but at the same time, I still feel a bit saddened of the "type" of milestone I am "celebrating".
I have put the miscarriage behind me for the most part but I still think of my little baby Angel, the baby that "could have been". This new baby has helped me heal sooo VERY much and I am grateful for the chance to even try again. I am so very blessed.
This new pregnancy has had me on my toes more than normal due to what happened previously. Yes, I have been scared... and at times down right paranoid about losing this blessing as well. However, with each passing day I feel stronger and stronger and more positive. March 3rd will be the big day though, thats when we will actually see our little pumpkin for the first time and hopefully be told everything is A-OK.
So today is bittersweet. It is a milestone and it is a good thing for this baby, however it doesn't mean that I have forgotten about my last baby. Overall I know baby Angel is looking over their little sibling in my tummy and I know they will make sure this baby will be ok. Wow, pumpkin isn't even born yet and already has a guardian angel, how sweet.
Well I am off to get some rest. I just wanted to write something about today and how meaningful it is to me.
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