Having Doubts

I am starting to truly get nervous at the fact that there is a small chance Alex might come early! I don't know why I feel this way, maybe its for the fact that I haven't been able to prepare for him ahead of time like I did Mia. With Mia on the loose, packing for our move, and having horrible stomach pains that cause me to sit down motionless alot... I haven't been able to do all the things I want to.

What also fuels my doubt is how I am feeling. I am in a full on nesting mode now! More so than I ever was with Mia, which I don't even think I experienced. Also I have been getting more and more tiny contractions, my cervix has been hurting for two days now (stabby pains), hes pushing harder onto the cervix and I feel he is dropping lower and lower. At some points hes so low (after I get up to walk)that I literally have to hunch over and I can barely walk, it almost feels like he will fall out!!! Its a crazy feeling!

Well I have talked to Adrian about this but he insists that since I didn't have Mia natural that my body doesn't know how to go into labor early (Mia was induced at 41 weeks). We brought this fact up to the doc when we saw her earlier in the week and she basically said it really doesn't matter, when hes ready hes ready. Adrian still has doubts that it could happen. I am trying to believe him but its hard to ignore how I am feeling.

Maybe my body is just preparing to have him and it doesn't necessarily mean that he will come today or tomorrow. I am just getting nervous, I think I will start to feel better once we have his little space in the house prepped my hospital bag is packed and bottles are washed. I have yet to do all those things.

Well hopefully I will make my c-section date. I worked so hard to achieve the 10-10-10 I would hate for him to override that! Then again... just seeing him and holding him will overshadow it all anyways.

UGH!!! I am so stressed!